What I'm Reading

So right now I'm reading... Draft 2 of my WIP R! I've tried to read some stuff, some from book bub and I've even tried reread some books I love but nothing had grabbed a hold of me, refusing to let go. This is a shame cause it's Christmas break and my son is home(he's six). As well as the fact my husband is working close to home. What this means for me is I've got more demands for my time throughout the day. It's easy to put down a book if I'm "needed" and start reading it again later. It is much harder for me to even start editing when I'm afraid of loosing my momentum when I'm interrupted. Example right now: the littlest one would not fall back asleep and is now on my lap which means I'm not sitting in front of my laptop any more.
Just keep trying!

Be tenacious and flexible

I let my current WIP go. Not forever, just until I've completed draft 2 of my WIP R. I'm doing a read through of R and making a few notes as I go. I'm trying hard to not focus too much on the nitty gritty during this first read through. I just want to make sure the story as a whole makes sense. I've printed it out and it helps tremendously to write on the actual manuscript. Once I get back to the computer I'll work on fixing any big holes at the same time as I start refining the obvious.
A stomach butg tried to derail me(and succeeded for 24 hours), but I am back on track! Making this change is working for me right now and that's what is important. I need to be accomplishing something and it was painfully slow at best with my WIP I. I'm grateful to have something else to fall back on to keep me sane and moving forward with my goals.
As for querying, it's still happening. And it's still painful seeing as all I'm getting is rejections.
Tenacity and flexibility to keep moving forward.

Where am I now?

Sometimes I get lost along the way, as I'm desperately traveling down this path towards being published. Always I'm hoping the dead ends aren't the one that means the end of this journey. There are so many reasons for my getting lost; sometimes it's the kids, or the husband, sometimes it's because querying and getting  no's sidetracks me from my current WIP, sometimes I've lost a feel for the story.
I haven't written in a while and I'm not talking about here on my blog although that's true too. Adding on top of that I received 4 form rejections last week. So to handle this I am rewriting my query and contemplating walking away from my current WIP. I have a completed first draft that I could be editing and I'm wondering if that's my best course of action. But the truth is, as a writer, I'm lost right now. I'm staring at a map but I don't know which path is a dead end. I'm hoping I choose the path that once I've  walked it I will naturally be at a point to continue on the next path I should choose.
That's all very dreamy and makes it seem much more poetic than the truth which is in my writing life I am at a point to be likened with depression.
Keep wandering, don't stand still .

Query Fears

1. No response...not a no or a yes or a may be but not even a no!

2. Is it the query that's the problem?

3. Is the query well written except the story is a dud... Boring, not unique enough, etc.

4. The first ten pages don't live up to the query and you've edited them all you can.

5. It's urban fantasy and unless you're a published author, no agent's going to take you on.

6. The story had promise but you're just not up to snuff to write it.

7. Never being published.

I say you to seperate myself from my fears. Otherwise this is far too painful.

Plotting and Pansing

How I've written each book had been different each time. Although up until now it was similar in the sense that I "daydream" then outline then write. I'm usually not very intense about outlining but I do it.

The last first draft I finished was different. I was very intense about outlining. I had a generic outline for what should happen when, I had my characters and I plugged them in, following the outline. I had planned out the first 2/3'a of the book before I typed a word. I was open to change as I wrote and I did change some scenes completely and some I just switched where they fell in the book.

My current draft is proving to be  different. I started it thinking it probably wouldn't amount to a story and knowing I had other writing that needed worked on. I'm a third of the way through without having outlined anything. I am finally getting to the point where I feel that I may need to outline the rest of the book at least in a bare bones way to avoid dead ends. But it has been so nice just telling the story without worrying too far ahead. And as I typed that I realized that's how my MC thinks, one day at a time. Hmmmm, interesting. Anyway, my only dilemma is I don't want to spoil the mood. Decisions, decisions.
Keep on going.

Finding the balance

Ever heard it said life is a balancing act? Well it is ;) Depending on your life and family, you balance things out, your wants and needs, someone else's wants and needs; doing what needs to be done or what you want to do.
Currently, I'm a stay at home mom. So my trick is balancing writing with a toddler, a 6 year old, a spouse and our mini farm.  I have found a sort of groove that is unbalanced as only a toddler and a finicky muse can do. I write or do something writing related during each nap time(which may be 30 minutes or at most 1 1/2 hours) and I often do so after the kids are in bed. The bedtime one is hard though because it's a toss up between a shower, sleep or writing. And if I don't have inspiration or a scene that is trying to claw it's way out, writing sometimes comes in last.
But not only do I have to balance finding the time to write versus doing some other tasks that would be easier to do while the toddler is sleeping, I must also balance what I am going to do during my writing time. I could blog. I could polish a query. I could send out queries. I could polish my synopsis. I could edit. I could outline. I could world build. Or, Gasp!, I could write ;)

I love it all. The hard work and the times when words trip over themselves to get on the page. The times when I pass out in bed and the times when I look like crap cause I stayed up late writing instead  of showering.

It's hard sometimes, but that is life. Really the only part that really sucks is I'm not published so I don't get paid. Hunt down your dream!

Sick days

I'm a stay at home mom so sick days just aren't what they used to be. When I had a "real" job if the kids were sick or I was, I called in. I spent the day at home snuggling a sick kid, vegging out, not changing out of my pajamas. My husband informed me yesterday there is no calling in sick for this job. Which really sucks because everyone in my house is sick. It wouldn't be so bad if baby was sleeping but it's hard to breath and suck a binky when your nose is plugged! Needless to say, she needed said binky put in 8 times last night!
The sickness is not conducive for writing. Neither is the tiredness. So I've just been trying to brainstorm. That wasn't working either. I had a small scene stuck in my head that I couldn't get passed.  I have finally written it down, so I'm hoping I'm freed up to keep going.
One word at a time! Keep on keeping on!

When the inspiration fizzles...

I love when inspiration strikes hot and heavy. And on the other hand it is just as intense only painful when it fizzles. I like to write on inspiration. The advice is out there that you should write no matter what. You can always edit unless you've written nothing. But the truth is, it's hard.
So I had been creating a second draft during daytime naps and writing a first draft at night(which is when the story was really speaking to me). Now I've been interrupted by my husband. Whenever he comes home from out of town my carefully crafted schedule goes haywire. I'd rather have him home than not, so I'll just have to deal.
Now that I've procrastinated by complaining here, I guess I'll go write ;)
Keep on keeping on.

When I don't want to write

Yeah, it happens. I don't want to write. There are all sorts of reasons at any given time. But why now? Am I burnt out? Maybe. But I don't think that's really it because last night I wrote about 2000 words of a story that popped in my head as I was putting my daughter to bed. The scene was so vivid, I couldn't ignore it. So once she was asleep, I laid her down and went straight to my laptop. I finished the scene, took a shower and then wrote some more. The rest wasn't as complete, but it was there.  I try not to let inspiration get away. But right now I think what the real problem is is that I've got too much going on. I've got a novel I'm querying but keep editing cause I can't let it go. I've got a completed first draft that's sat long enough, I think, and needs to move on to the second draft. I've got a fantasy story brewing but I'm not letting myself dig into because it needs some serious world/character building before I wrote it if I want the writing process to go smoothly. I've got a new story that just popped in my head but I don't really know, but I think I do, where I need to take it. I don't even know her name and I won't name her because to name her is to commit to writing her. And it's really not her time. Although she's saying it is.
See? Too much going on! I need to commit. But to what? Who gets my attention?
I just spent 15 minutes and four pages into my competed first draft and barely changed anything. Is it too soon? Am I not commited enough? Am I lazy and don't want to edit? I DONT KNOW!
So, what am I going to do?
I'm going to name her. Because I don't want to edit. Because I want to write a crazy first draft. I'm going to give her my time and when hubby gets home from working out of town, I'll print out first draft that needs to become second draft and I'll read it. Then I'll read it with a red pen in hand. May be ;)
Chase your dreams even when you're not sure where you're going.

Fickle muse

I don't really feel like I have a muse.  I just have stories that insist on being told.  Or if they fade away then the time wasn't right. Novel A is basically complete(does a writer ever feel a story is truly complete? Hence the basically complete) and I have sent my query off to five agents. I received my first no in less than 24 hours. It was a form rejection :( it is really rather painful. No other responses as of yet. I'll send more out in the next couple weeks.
Now other than doing the next go round on the synopsis, I need to let A go and move on to another story.  This is where my nonexistent and yet fickle muse comes in. I have a completed first draft of WIP R and I could/should go work on draft two. But(we all knew that was coming), another story has been tickling my brain. I have been letting the ideas tumble around, knowing I needed to decide on some background stories and world building before I could proceed to plot. I did all of this, all while knowing I should be working on R. If R would speak up, it would be easier. Instead this other story keeps talking. That is until I put some world building on paper. Suddenly the story has backed off. Now what am I to do? Which story should I chase? Logically, I should chase the story closest to publishing, the one with a completed draft one, not the story coyly dancing in my head.
May be there is a fickle muse, and the stories are her puppets? If so, me and her need to talk, seriously.
Chase what needs chased...your dreams.

I might have a thing for notebooks...

So I went in for one notebook and one pen.  I like to write down ideas in a notebook and I like to have only one novel per notebook.  Although I have broken that rule. And I currently don't have five novels in my head. I just have one shiny new idea, hence the fact I went in for one notebook. Oh well, what's a girl to do when faced with so many choices?!

Keep on!

Seriously?! This is draft four!

That moment when you realize a "little tweak" you need to make to the MC which will probably make her better but will require some very focused editing to get it all just right? Ugh! I much prefer to be picking and choosing just. The. Right. Word. That's where I thought I was, but... With this one little "tweak" to her personality and she started talking to me! That's when I knew I had to insert this change through the whole book. Hopefully it pans out and doesn't mean I just wasted a whole lot of time doing the wrong kind of editing/rewrite.
Fight the fight!

Eye drops...six year old...do you see where this is going

My six y/o has pink eye and therefore must have drops in his eyes 4, count them, four times a day. The first time went okay. The second time, not so much. It took thirty minutes of pleading, making him stay laying down, pulling hands away, crying, flat out panicking, bribery and tough love before I got those drops in.  The third time... He took it like a champ! Looking back I can see where I went wrong and how where he was emotionally affected the outcome. 

Writing can be like that. It can be difficult and frustrating and it can be amazing, all in the same day. Some of it is where we are as writers and some of it is the story itself. But it's all worth it, healing pink eyes and finishing stories ;)

So I've managed to get a rough query written. I also feel like I understand what I need to do to write a successful query. Now I just have to actually do it. In an effort to keep sane I am back to WIP A and have started draft 4. So that's that :-D

Keep on keeping on!

Writing a query

Frustration is ugly!! I despise writing queries. I really do.  I'm currently starting to work on a query for my WIP A. While it's not complete as in the book isn't near enough to perfect to send out a query, it is far enough along to write its query.
Only, writing a blasted query for this book is proving to be as hard as writing the first draft was! Never the less, I can't stop seeing as how I would like to have the darn thing published ;)
Okay, now that I've vented my frustration, I guess I'll begin torturing myself again.
Keep on! Fight your fight!

THE END

50,238 word count
110 pages(I didn't double space)
20 chapters
I did it. I finished my WIP R. It felt good.  It always feels good to finish. I'm pretty sure this was the easiest first draft I've ever wrote. It's contemporary YA when I've only completed YA urban fantasy before this.  I didn't have any particular song that inspired it. Usually I find a few songs or sometimes one song that I listen to over and over again. Sometimes I didn't listen to any music while I wrote.  This experience was different, but not a bad different.
Now I shall read the fourth book in the Inheritance Cycle and then work on a query and probably a synopsis for my WIP A. But first, Eragon!

Fight your fight!

The ending of The End

That is where I am. I need to finish the second to last chapter and write the final chapter. I made it halfway through chapter 19 before I got stuck.  All this time I had some vague idea of how I thought it would end.  Suddenly I realized I knew the end for two of my MC's but not the most important one. So I googled some ideas, debated things in my head and basically took over half a day to shake things out. I've just written down the loose outline of it and now I'm blogging. You see, I felt like I needed to put the idea down on paper to let it solidify in my head. I'm still not sure if it's the best ending for the book. Don't get me wrong, I don't think it's a bad ending, just may be not the best.
I want to write it now but I think it would be best to wait. I'll sleep on it and see how I feel when nap time comes for my wee one and I sit down at my laptop.  For now I'm giving in to a luxury I've withheld for the last few weeks. I'm going to read! Maybe sleeping on the plot is just an excuse, but one I'm not letting go of!
Keep on!

So close...so far

I always have a goal when I write a book, to finish ;) Cheeky, huh?! Seriously, I find it helpful to have some sort of goal and I develop a loose plan accordingly. With my WIP R, I had a goal of 20 chapters and 50,000 words. Now this is just something to reach for, particularly the word count. If I go over the word count I don't mind a bit. If I come under, I'm disappointed. As for chapters, I follow a standard format for a 20 chapter book, but consider it a loose guideline and not set in stone. And while I have a general idea of what I want to happen each chapter and generically what should happen, I am certainly not bound by it. Particularly in the second draft I allow myself to see structurally what is better for the story.
All this is helpful to keep me on track.  I need that because the meat of the story is something I think out more in detail as I write the story. And so, as I go, I often feel so close and yet so far from THE END.
Anyway, here's an update: 41,083 word count and I'm in the middle of chapter 16 struggling to "make it, as in the story, BIGGER."
Fight your fight. Keep on!

And it feels like the first time...Can you feel it?

It is the first time... The first time I've written the teenage male pov. I started the chapter and then took a step back to do some more research. After finding a few good blogposts on writing from the male pov when you're not male, I dove back in. I tried really hard not to over think it and the words just flowed. There was only one point when I thought I might be untrue to the male stereo type but that's why this is a first draft. I'll come back later and figure out if those thoughts were realistic for Him and not just based on his gender.
So I finished his first chapter! Now I've got five more before it's time to wrap the book up. That will be a whole 'nother mess! Because I'm writing this from three different characters pov and haven't decided exactly how it ends. As I write this, I think I just realized I do at least know whose voice will end the book.
Fight the fight; keep on keeping on!
Ps Best piece of advice I found was in fiction, every character is made up! If you are a female writer, you aren't your female characters. So write your guys with the same dedication and made-up-it-ness you would your female characters. Make them all REAL to your reader.

Success despite stress

So last Monday I started sleep training my 10 month old. She sleeps pretty good at night but I held her the whole time for her naps. I finally got selfish and decided I wasn't going to hold her for 3-4 hours a day! And so the nightmare began. After 5 days it finally started to straighten out on the road to where I want us to go. In the past two weeks I finished draft 3 of A! I may not have done the second half enough justice, but too late now. Too late because I handed over to my beta reader. I am anxiously awaiting her thoughts! In the mean time I can go back to WIP R. I'm letting it marinate a few days, keeping it on the front burner, to get back on track. I had actually stopped at a sticky point for me. I'm really hoping the break will have proved to be a blessing.
Keep on!

Classic

So I searched up classical music today for my son. He's having a hard time decompressing after school and I found a tip that recommended classical music. So I of course went to You Tube and searched up the big wigs, Bach, Mozart, Beethoven. I found a couple songs I remembered from high school band and headed over to good 'ole Pandora.
OMG! I made a station and it's now my go to for editing WIP A. This wasn't what I was expecting out of this but I am so so grateful and in love. (Which I need right now due to nap issues with my little one.)
Keep at it!

Multiple WIP's

I'm facing a bit of a dilemma. I currently have two WIP's. I finished the 2nd draft of WIP A and despite wanting to jump right back in to complete draft 3, I set it aside to simmer. In the meantime I started a new WIP(R) and have made it a little way past halfway in just over a month. Obviously A is closer to querying than R making me feel I need to focus on it again. But I am afraid to leave R unfinished. And now you're wondering why I don't do both? I've got a ten month old, a 6 year old, husband and lots of animals. What does that matter? I usually only write after the kids go to sleep. At that time I also shower(hallelujah!) and take care of other tasks I couldn't while the wee ones were awake. In other words, my writing time is limited. So at the moment I'm working on printing A(the ink isn't cooperating.) School is starting in two days so I am sincerely hoping there will be some more time I can devote to writing which will perhaps a allow me to do the two projects at once, rather than alternating them.
Wish me luck ;) and please keep on trying!

Reading while Writing

Reading while writing is something I've tried not to do before now. I'm okay with reading while on break in between drafts but not while actively writing. In the past I have found it not only distracts me but I also have a fear of stealing from the books I might read. While writing my current WIP I was tempted by the Inheritance Trilogy. I have finished Eragon and Eldest. I have also managed to slog my way past the halfway point of my word count goal, and I'm about to start chapter 11. It is true that I find reading while writing is distracting. It is much easier to slip into a finished novel than to be carving your own book out of nothing. I have found though that I'm not afraid of stealing, but only because I was very careful when choosing something to read. Eragon is fantasy while my current WIP is more contemporary YA. Also, my first two mc's,both of which get their turn at being the pov character, are female. Had I been writing from a male pov I might have found a little trouble. I will soon face this dilemma because my third mc to steal the pov is male. I will consider pausing the Inheritance trilogy if it interferes with my writing. But for now, I will continue to read and write ;)
Keep on keeping on!

When you hit every red light

It is inevitable, I suppose. I had hoped it wouldn't happen, but it did. At just under halfway through this first draft I am slowing down...way down. There is nothing more to do than: Keep on keeping on!

POV change

I'm coming to the conclusion of the first act if my WIP which also means I'm about to switch pov. I'm writing this WIP in 1st person and have three mc's. The story on a whole belongs to the first mc I'm featuring but I just really felt act 2 and 3 needed to come from the other mc's pov's. I should be finishing chapter 6 tonight and then I'm back to refine the drawing board. I had already plotted out the majority of the first 2/3's of the book, but now I need to refine mc2's part of the story. I've also got to get to know mc2 a little better to make sure she has her own distinct presence and not the presence mc1 perceives her as... And all the while make sure I'm advancing mc1's story and not forgetting mc3. Oy!!! It's complicated. And on the outskirts of my thoughts is another WIP that I left brewing after finishing draft 2. Knowing that it is that much closer to being published makes it tempting to drop this multiple pov story. And yet, how can I drop a story that has been so willing to be told? I can't. Keep on keeping on. Write the story that wants to be told.

Grateful

When the writing is coming "easily"...knock on wood... it makes you grateful. Every chapter I write I'm worrying g about not just the next chapter but all the ones after that. I just can't help it. This story is so different from anything else I've written. So I'm going to try really hard to just be grateful! I'm taking it one chapter at a time, plotting them out during nap time, car drives, showers and right before I go to sleep. I'll keep plugging away, writing during nap time and when the kids are in bed. I suggest you also: Keep on keeping on!

Butt in chair

I've made it to chapter 5 already. It's possibly a record for me. However, I can feel myself beginning to slow down. Real life is a clingy baby who won't nap unless I hold her(I'm not a CIO mom as much as I threaten it in my head) and the story is... Well it's very much still there but I've made it to a chapter that requires a little more work. I've got the idea for it but to make it work, to have the tension and interest I have to work at it. And work is, well it's work. So today I took a nap with little one instead of writing, which means I only wrote once today. But I did write; I did put my butt in the chair and managed 800 or so words. Now I'm going to reward myself with a shower. 10:30 at night and it's the only time I might not have a baby in the crib screaming while I shower.'life of. Mom! Keep on keeping on!

Close enough

I've been working on the first draft of R and it's been going good. The next chapter is the first time I'll come in contact with the "touchy" part. At first I was afraid of what going there would do to me, what memories it would bring back. Now I'm afraid I won't do the story justice. It all makes me think of how often writing and fear go together. I'm going to try and jump in feet first. There can't be just sticking a toe in the water. Keep on keeping on.

Darker

I finished draft 2. I wanted to dive right back in but in the spirit of listening to the all knowing www I am taking at least a 1 week break. In the mean time I had to decide between two other stories I've had brewing so that I'd have something to work on. I chose the darker of the two ideas. It's gonna hit close to home and it's making me a bit anxious. I'm trying to really have a good outline before I dive into writing. That's a diversion cause reality is I always have a very loose if at all existing outline and I fly by the seat of my pants on the first draft. I think I'm also grasping at straws to keep a handle on the story and how it's touch me. Keep on keeping on.

Just a Little While

Yeah, so it's been a lot longer than a little while. I'm back at a point where I'm writing again, consistently(that's an important point.). I'm also thinking about being published again. After numerous rejections of my first two books and life requiring me to fully participate, and you know, having another baby and quitting my job, I'm finally writing again. This 3rd book is actually been in the works for at least 2 years. The first draft took FOREVER to finish and even though I wanted to publish it someday I just couldn't bring myself to touch it again for fear of how hard it had been the first time. The second draft is allowing me to think I can now handle this book. Quit laughing at me! So for whatever reason, when I'm serious about writing I tend to want to blog about it. I'm not sure why though. Regardless, I'm here again. Honestly, who knows how long, but still I figure, why the heck not?! Keep on keeping on ;)